In the second part of our Pride series, I caught up with digital creator Michele, aka melaninmichie, for a personal and open conversation on her feelings towards pride and sexuality. We explored Michele’s unique journey in recognising her Queer identity, and how that translated into her everyday life, as well as speaking candidly about the realities of being a content creator.
So, who is Michele? In her own words she is, “a full-time Youtuber, content creator, community leader, and just vibes.” Born and raised in South London, Michele’s first experience into the world of content creation started during her first year of university, just a few years after she had gone for the ‘big chop.’ “I cut all my hair, and I used to wear it curly. All the aunties used to ask me like, "OMG Michele, what do you put in your hair? What products, what shampoo, what conditioner?” and then it just got tiring for me to explain what I’m using, so I thought, I’m just going to make a YouTube video and explain, and it ended up doing really well! So, I ended up making YouTube videos and here I am.”
Here she is, indeed: over 100 videos, nearly some 72,00 subscribers, and 7 years of YouTube later, Michele continues to be a powerful pioneer for natural hair and an advocate for defining your own beauty standards. Though she might have started out by making YouTube videos, Michele’s content creation has expanded to TikTok and Instagram with videos ranging from her personal adventures to tips on make-up and skincare, and she has even added ‘model’ to her portfolio.
Since so much of Michele’s life revolves around sharing herself with hidden, digital eyes, I wonder what kind of emotions come with that. “It’s funny,” she begins, “I actually went through this period of not wanting to be perceived online, even though it was my job. That was kinda during Covid, and I feel like I’m only recovering from that now.” So, how has her relationship with social media evolved since then?
On the one hand, the scales seem to have tipped completely to the other side with Michele wanting to almost “overshare.” Recently, Michele has started getting more personal on YouTube. She shares details of her life, her family, and has even opened up about her mental health journey. “I think it’s the reason I feel more connected to YouTube,” she explains. “You’re watching a 10-minute video [of me], as opposed to a 1-minute reel, so you kind of get to know the real me.” Though comfortable with posting herself online again, Michele admits she does still have moments of unease, but it is something she is able to work through. “I guess you really only share how much of yourself you want to share anyway. You’re in creative control at the end of the day.” Ultimately, connection has become the most important thing to Michele. “Even though my experiences are my own, I know I’m not alone in those experiences. There are so many other people that will resonate with some of my struggles, or revelations, or just the ups and downs that come with life. In this era of social media where people are only showing highlight reels, I believe it’s important to stay authentic and just be you.”
But on the other side of things is the permanence of social media, and Michele admits this can influence where she decides to post certain content. Though it’s something she rarely discusses online, Michele has a pride flag in her social media bio's and identifies as Queer. When approached by brands in the past, who asked if this was something she would speak on, she tells me she always rejected these offers because it wasn’t something she was ready to talk about. However, this Pride month, Michele said yes and partnered with Garnier to create a short TikTok on what Pride means to her. TikTok was Michele’s preferred platform for this video because of the platform’s notoriety for quick moments. “It’s fleeting, very fleeting. You post something and if it’s gonna blow up, it’ll blow up, but once it’s done, it’s done. People aren’t scrolling through your entire feed, whereas Instagram is more curated. Although my brand is me, I think it’s okay to be selective with what you share online. I’m very proud of my identity.”
I think Michele’s words over and have to agree. I remember times I treated my identity like a Mr Potato Head toy: I’d remove the lips and not speak when I knew it would cause tension; put it back when I felt safe enough to; I would strip myself to its barest, most digestible and accepted form at a cost to my personal autonomy. It’s a painfully tiresome way to navigate life, for no other reason than to allow others the benefit of living my life in the way most comfortable to them. But now, self-pride no longer feels like the elusive concept it once was.
Despite the Internet being a large part of her career, Michele is quite a private, and dare I say, reserved, person. This TikTok was one of the first times she had publicly spoken about what her sexual identity means to her. It’s something I want to know more about, so Michele takes me through her journey. “I’m not too sure when the journey started. I couldn’t pinpoint it for you, but I think from a young age, I’ve always known – or could appreciate – the beauty in anyone regardless of how they identified.” As she began to define her sexuality, Michele found a safe space in the queer nights out she would attend and the friends she felt comfortable enough to share her sexuality with. On that point, Michele is quick to thank the power of community, whether that be online or offline. “The positive thing about being in London is that everyone can find their community here. All of my friends that I have shared my sexuality with are very open and supportive and I haven’t had any negative responses whatsoever. And with the rise of social media, people are just a bit more understanding of differences in humans in general and their preferences, so I think that’s also worked in my favour.”
And finally, I come to the question that ignited the beginning of Michele starting to open up about her sexuality: what does Pride mean to you?
Michele thinks her answer over for a little while, before starting with, “I think because I’ve never been to a Pride event before, it’s not something I think about, or resonate with, often. My journey with my sexuality has been quite an individual one, I haven’t shared it with that many people, or been that open about it, to say that I express pride.” A sentiment to which I can completely understand. There are times pride felt synonymous with the word shame, but that is something that slowly eroded away this year as I began to accept and own all aspects of my personal identity. Michele echoes my thoughts as she tells me, “I think in general; pride is just about being proud of who you are and feeling free to express that without shame and feeling safe to do so. Even though “pride” is associated with sexuality, I feel like pride is also something that everyone can identify with regardless of how they [sexually] identify.”
Pride, in all its many meanings, is something Michele tells me she is exploring the idea of and hopes to do more of once she goes to her first Pride event. And if there’s one person who experienced pride to the fullest, it was Michele’s younger self. Is there one piece of advice adult Michele would give to baby Michele? Immediately, with a bright, dimpled smile, Michele answers, “I would tell her to keep being the confident, bad ass bitch she was because honestly, nobody could tell her anything and she believed she could do anything.” Musing on perhaps why that was, Michele puts it down to the fact that baby her had not yet been tainted by the limiting beliefs of the world, and she hadn’t been stopped from exploring her dreams. Realising baby Michele perhaps has some advice for her too, Michele lightly tell me she often finds herself trying to tap back into that childlike energy to regain that confidence.
Listening to Michele’s story has been refreshing and comforting, and on my way home I find myself smiling, and perhaps expressing a little more pride than when I first arrived.
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